The writing below is a rewriting in English. So many feed back from this writing came and make me think that I have to make this one in English. Forgive my one two three English grammar ya.. As the writing said that nothing is impossible, I believe nothing is impossible for you to understand this one… hahaha…
My name is Lia Brasali Ariefano.
I was born with the name Elizabeth Lia Indahyani.
As I write this, I’ve been married for 8 years and 11 months.
To this day I have not had children.
In medical, this condition called infertility.
Or … The world says I am B A R R E N.
I understand why Sarah laughed when she heard God’s news through His angels told Abraham that she would conceive.
Luke tells us that Elizabet will also pregnant. Angel of the Lord also came to Elizabet’s husband Zakaria, and said that his wife who already had her menopause and in her old age will get a son and they shall name him John.
No bitter words came out from their mouths. But I’m sure as a woman who understands the nature of womanhood, they had an up and down feeling because of the label as infertile women. Sara and Elizabeth certainly had the temptation to ask: “How is it possible?” The nowdays language is: Mission Impossible hehe ..
Advent comes from the Latin Advenīre (ad-to + venīre to come) which means the coming or arrival, especially for someone that we look forward to.
More than 8 years my husband and I looking forward to the arrival of a child, the fruitful of our love. I am the type of woman who don’t like children. In fact there was a time I think I didn’t want to have children because they only giving me trouble and obstruct my freedom. And that’s not good for my career. But the grace of God brought me to the joy of the truth that makes me willing to receive as many as what God’s wants to give us children. In fact I want children in our family at least 4 hehehhe
The reality today … not event 1 child ever present in my womb. Sometimes I think, is this a punishment for my sins because I’d promised myself not to have children?
Infertile or barren means unfruitful / unproductive means: lacking in liveliness or interest.
Hhhhmmmm … by definition, that’s my condition today. No wonder so many women are distressed by this situation.
No wonder Sara released permit to her husband to have a descent which is very important in their tradition.
Not told in detail what passed with Elizabeth’s struggles. But her position as a wife of a prominent priest, definitely gave her its own pressures.
Judged not to be able to bear fruit or unproductive as a woman, make us feel that our existence as a women seems to be teared and make us (or for me at least) think that we are “unuseful” wife.
But the mercy of the Most High God shaped my life in ways that I never thought and imagined. Because of the mercy, once again … only with compassion and mercy of the Lord, every day feels like Advent for me.
I missed the presence of children, just like other women, but today it no longer yearning painful, but actually freeing to know that my calling as a woman is not only determined by the body’s ability to conceive and bear a child.
My womanhood’s calling come to the fullest when I able to receive the love of God, open my heart to the love God completely.
The calling of my womanhood became real, when I gave birth to the fruit of God’s love through my life’s mission (now I am preparing the 4th and another ‘solo’ book)
Womanhood for me is alive when I can give back the love that I receive from the Lord to the people around me in the form of a work.
If today I have not been blessed with a child, it was not because of sin / curse / reward for what I do. When I turn to God and ask forgiveness, I believe God He never remember my sins. My husband “fishing analogy” that God have thrown our sins away into the deepest ocean and provide the sign on that spot: ” No Fishing here!!! ”
I believe with a full heart (this is also the process yeee … hehehe) if today I do not have children who were born from my womb yet, I feel that I’ve had a lot of children.
Yes, for me I feel that the calling of motherhood is not just defined by the biological mother.
I feel alive and fruitful when I am in the middle of the community that God has given to me to be a place to share my life. I’m so blessed to be in the midst of the people who continue to support me to pull out the best of me.
I feel so passionate and productive when I was there in the classroom, in the laboratory, in my study, or when I sit on my work desk also when I meet people outhere. My heart beat so loud… wants to give sign sooo vivid and alive of the joy and hope I can pass on to humanity through medical science that I learned.
I feel so perfect every time God’s love touches me through the presence of my husband, my parents, my brother,sister, and niece, the Cordisians, also so many friends who love me. For these blessings can I complain for more?
There is a saying: better to be loved than love someone without reciprocation. Is that so? Because not many women can accept love, even it sounds so easy. You will never be satisfied to be loved until the heart first being formed and restored by the grace and love of God.
Through whatever happen in my life today, there is no other word that I can say other than: Thanks be to God.
Infertility makes everyday an Advent for me.
This situation shows me from time to time that the power of God is greater than our weakness. This “mission impossible” (ie: make me become pregnant hehehe …) taught me to be a woman of faith in God and work my faith without any back up plan. Yes, no back up plan!
Yes, again …
My name is Lia Brasali Ariefano.
I was born with the name Elizabeth Lia Indahyani. While writing this, I’ve been married for 8 years and 11 months. By God’s mercy I receive His love. Through the grace of the Most High God, He changes me, and He renews my heart. Too often the world said I am stupid for choosing to follow God and His commandments of God through the teachings of the church.
I believe my faith in God who keeps my hope alive will make the world someday call me: BLESSED.
Together in the Lord, He will make me like a tree planted by streams of water, which produces fruit and leaves that are not wilted. At that time the world will see the wonder and shouts of joy and the Love of God will fill the hearts of many people because we know that infertility is not a mission impossible for our God.
“Happy Advent” to all ‘barren’ woman out there (I know today is not December of course hehehe…)
With the love of Jesus we are never barren on His sight.
We are woman with special plan from God. We are called to be fruitful in many ways.
With God nothin ‘such Mission Impossible, cause anything is possible!
-The blessed Lia-