I Still Date My Ex-Girlfriend

Call Me Crazy, But She Still Makes My Heart Go Pumpity-Pump

After ten years of marriage, I’m still crazy for this woman.

Being with her is my little piece of heaven on earth.

Here’s my proof: So far, I’ve had 508 romantic dates with my wife. (Yes, my wife. What were you thinking? She’s my ex-girlfriend, right?) That’s once per week for almost 10 beautiful years.

And I’ve loved every single one of them.

Our date night is sacred.

Unless it’s an invitation from the President of the Republic, I say no to all invitations and meetings. Our marriage is what it is today because of those precious 508 dates.

Call me corny. Call me deluded. Call me in denial.

But I really love being with her.

By the way, did you know my wife has magical powers?

When I’m with her, she drains my stress away. When I’m going through a rough time, all I have to do is share my problems to her, and instantly, I feel so much better. With her, I’m at home. And I rest.

I believe couples need to connect with each other in a deep way, or they will drift apart and look for attachments elsewhere.

Aside from our weekly dates, I grab special times I call “spontaneous moments of connection”.

Spontaneous Moments Of Connection

Yesterday afternoon, I came home ready to dive into my work. The usual stuff I do: articles to write, talks to prepare, meetings to plan…

But when I came home, I saw this lovely woman sitting on the couch all by herself.

I thought to myself, “Work can wait,” and I grabbed this opportunity to sit beside the greatest girl on the galaxy. It wasn’t planned. But we were able to talk and connect our hearts. Even just for a few minutes.

Life offers us these fantastic times of bonding. I’ve learned not to miss them: Being stuck in traffic with her. Or waiting for the dentist. Or lining up in the grocery. These times don’t have to be boring if you hold hands and talk.

How To Have A Great Marriage

One day, a young husband came up to me and said, “Bo, I wish my marriage will be as great as yours ten years from now…”

I only had one word for him: “Don’t wish. Decide.”

In that one line, I gave my secret to success.

That’s what separates great marriages and not-so-great marriages.

That’s what separates successful people from unsuccessful people.

Unsuccessful people wish, want, hope, desire for their dreams.

That’s not enough.

Successful people decide to make their dreams happen. Period.

That means they’ll do whatever it takes.

Nothing will stop them.

Failure is not an option.

Let me ask you: Will you do whatever it takes?

For me as a husband, it means…

o practicing “mental” monogamy

o overlooking her faults

o going out of my way to express my love

o prioritizing our dates

o leading my family to God

Note: Just in case you’re in the delusion that I’m a perfect husband, let me make this record straight. I’m far from it. Just ask my wife!

But the important thing is that I’ve decided to become a great husband. And I make that decision everyday. (I struggle towards this dream everyday!)

I’ve realized that this power of decision works in every other area in life…

How To Be A Success In Anything

I’ve also decided to be a financial success.

No ifs, no buts, no excuses. I’ll do everything it takes.

For me, that means sticking to my core gifts, getting wise mentors, reinventing myself, creating a dream team around me, and focusing on loving my customers.

I’ve also decided to be a spiritual person.

That means opening myself to God’s love, walking with integrity, and pursuing my ultimate mission of loving others.

I’ve also decided to be a healthy person.

That means going to the gym daily, eating veggies and fruits, taking supplements, and living with balance.

Don’t Wish. Decide.

“But Bo, I’ve already decided to be a success! But I guess my decision wasn’t strong enough…”

Then that means you haven’t really decided yet.

You’ve just wished.

If you remain in the level of wish, nothing happens.

You must go to the level of decision.

I’m reminded of this Chinese General who invaded an island. Upon landing on the shore, he asked his soldiers to burn their own boats. Obviously, they were shocked. When asked why would they do this insane act of burning their own boats, he said, “We’ll leave this island either as Victors or as dead men. Escape is not an option.”

That’s a decision.

And that’s the kind of decision that will make you succeed in anything.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez


About whittulipe

Lia adalah seorang Dokter dan saat ini Ia bekerja di sebuah perusahaan teknologi medis. Passionnya adalah mewartakan harapan yang terpancar melalui anugrah kehidupan melalui tulisan, ilmu kedokteran serta penghayatan hidup sebagai seorang perempuan. Ia adalah kontributor Buku Renungan Harian Wanita “Treasuring Womanhood” selama 8 tahun belakangan ini, juga penulis buku “You Deserve The Truth”, “Sexy and Holy”, “Wake up Princess”. Lia sangat passionate melayani kaum muda. Bersama suaminya Riko Ariefano dan komunitasnya Domus Cordis, ia banyak melayani di berbagai negara dan daerah di Indonesia, khususnya dalam mewartakan kabar sukacita tentang teologi tubuh (TOBIT), anugrah kehidupan, dan panggilan keperempuan-an. Lewat Inspire Group, sebuah kerasulan media sosial dalam Komunitas Domus Cordis, Lia dan Riko juga sering membawakan vlog dan menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan seputar kaum muda dengan berbagai perjuangan dan pergumulannya, serta bagaimana untuk selalu melibatkan Kristus dalam kehidupan mereka. Topik-topik yang dibawa termasuk tentang relationship, adiksi, potensi kaum muda, hubungan dengan orang tua, sampai current issues di Indonesia. She is a proud wife and blessed daughter. She is a writer and traveller who loves coffee, bakmi, and dogs! Lia bersama suaminya Riko Ariefano, dan kedua ekor anjingnya saat ini berdomisili di Jakarta. Blog: https://whittulipe.wordpress.com IG: whittulipe Vlog: Youtube: Inspire Group
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