Black Doted “Flintstones’s Stick” Scars

There is a story behind what I wrote few days ago: “Until certain point – pain and scar are not frightening, but become an entry point to testify how God works through it. When you see it that way, you will feel more beautiful and strong! Only by God’s grace.”

Let me tell you a story about my calves.
I have problem with this part of my body since my teenager.
It’s big and remind me to Flintstones’s stick and I use to say that it’s more like ‘betis abang becak’ than betis a woman. All my teenage year I grew up with a believe that those calves are ugly!


Yes there you go… and then comes those black doted scars – I’ve been struggling with those scars for sometime. It makes my calves even uglier than before. For months I hide it with trousers, stocking, or long skirt – I told people that I like wearing it but I know deep inside I want to cover something that really hurt my self image.

I know maybe I was too much but I couldn’t stop that feeling.
I thought it was a simple thing that I have to learn to accept – I live with border line diabetis and as a medical doctor I know that those scars will stay after I recover from wounds. But still that knowledge didn’t help me to make peace with it at all.
Then I asked God to help me deal with it. I quite hesitant to do that at first – I mean hey this only a scar issue and it located on my calves, not on my face, I feel too much to bring it to a prayer. But I did it anyway – hey nothing to loose, it’s ‘only’ a prayer.

But then something happen slowly but sure.
Somehow God reminds me to the cause of those black doted scars.
I got bites from Sand Flies when I did my Inca Trail at Machu Pichu.
I went to Cusco Peru for a social project help women to get tested for Cervical Cencer Screening. It was a 2 weeks mission and at the end of the mission the people from clinic took us to Machu Pichu. They told us about the possibility of Sand Flies bites (read:https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowTopic-g294318-i3352-k1480029-Bug_bites_from_MP-Machu_Picchu_Sacred_Valley_Cusco_Region.html) but me and my ignorance – I thought : “Aahhh it just a bug. I have mosquito biting me all my life and I am ok…” That ignorance lead me to a struggle 😛yeahhh stubborn me!

God reminds me that I got that wounds when I did a mission to live a passion that God gave in my heart.
Yes it’s messy and gross (you should see it when it still infected) and it became scars but every time I look at that Black Doted “Flintstones’s Stick” Scars, it reminds me how God is faithful to me, how God’s grace fill me with courage to travel 17,800km to meet God’s people there and sharing life with them. For me this scar become a sign of how God loves me and He wants me to be happy.

Yes until certain point – pain and scar are not frightening, but become an entry point to testify how God works through it. When you see it that way, you will feel more beautiful and strong!

Only by God’s grace.

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10 Things My Mom Told Me … And I didn’t believe Her (2)

10 Things My Mom Told Me … And I didn’t believe Her (2)

I was not an easy teenager.
Today, I am old enough to have a teenager on my own, and I have a promise in my heart when I was a teenager, that I will not agree to what my mom said, but now… life teach me so many things, and I find out why I didn’t believe her back then…

Here are (another 5) what my Mom taught me:

6. Kalau mau dokter buat jadi kaya materi, mendingan ngga usah jadi dokter!
Hehehe… ini kata-kata pertama yang my mom ucapkan waktu Saya insist buat masuk Fakultas Kedokteran waktu itu. Actually she did not support me with the decision. My mom said that being a medical doctor will consume your life, because it’s a calling. Saya tidak mengerti apa maksudnya waktu itu. Tetapi hari ini, melihat ke belakang, saya bersyukur she emphasized that strongly to me, sehingga sekarang… setelah menjadi seorang yang mengucapkan sumpah Hippocrates which means biarpun saya tidak praktek, tetapi selamanya saya terikat pada sumpah itu, and what my mother said, even in her own simple words – it so alive now and become the strength for me to live this calling. You’re just a simple woman Mom, but your wise word is so true!

7. Hafal Firman Tuhan – terutama Mazmur dan Amsal. Itu akan menjadi pegangan dalam menjalani hidup.
Nahhhh… ini yang paling saya sebel! Berasa ngga berguna banget waktu itu, dan ngga ngerti juga apa maksudnya. Masa kecil saya penuh dengan cerita Kitab Suci dan sejak saya mulai bisa menghafal, saya diajarkan untuk mulai menghafal ayat Kitab Suci. My mom always said… “Baca Mazmur dan Amsal buat menemani perjalanan hidup kamu karena banyak kata-kata hikmat.” and of course I didn’t believe her.
Tetapi hari ini, saya bersyukur akan ayat-ayat yang saya hafalkan dan sudah saya lupakan hehehe… tetapi tanpa sadar, ayat-ayat itu menjadi kekuatan di saat saya terhimpit beban berat. Sebuah bekal dari ibu yang akan menjadi kekuatan sepanjang masa.

8. Sex itu suci! Jangan sembarangan melakukan nya. Jaga kekudusan.
Hehehhe… I’ve in relationship. From I’m 15 until 28, saya ngga pernah berhenti ada dalam relasi. Baik pacaran atau TTM. Anyway… My mom keep repeating this message but it seems like I didn’t care about it.
Yes… I made so many mistakes. Pacaran saya ngga bisa dibilang bener dan menjaga kekudusan tubuh saya.  But now when I looking back, I know that she was right.
Setelah kehidupan pernikahan dan mengalami langsung apa arti sexual, I really understand why sex is holy. Once again I have to say… yeaa Mom, you’re right!

9. Jangan minta kepada manusia, karena itu akan mengecewakan. Mintalah ke Tuhan. Dia yang akan memberikan semuanya.
I don’t know whether this one is a toxic faith or not. Because of this understanding I feel disappointed by God. Big time. But then I found out, that what made me mad was because the wrong understanding of God. Dalam perjalanan waktu, ketika pengenalan akan Tuhan bertambah, saya mengerti apa artinya dan dalam konteks apa Dia (Tuhan) akan memberikan semuanya. Saat saya mengerti konteks yang sesungguhnya, kata-kata ini menjadi penguat iman dan harapan saya.
My mom have gone through a lot of things in her life. I am the testimony of her life because I was born in this family (Thank God!). I testimony how she depends on God so much and how God fulfill her dreams one by one. Yes there were sad and failed moments, but God always shows up in the end and make everything good.
Thank you for not only taught me this, but also show me what the meaning to be a woman of faith.

10. Ingat nanti kalau kamu jadi istri dan ibu, cuma 1 modalnya: DENGKUL!
This one is my favorite.
I don’t have a biological children until now, but this words become a great reminder. Melihat hidup Saya sendiri, kurang apa sih saya dibesarkan oleh kedua orang tua saya? Saya dibesarkan dengan pendidikan iman yang kuat. Tetapi tetap di masa remaja, di mana saya sudah mampu menentukan pilihan saya, orang tua saya tidak bisa memaksakan kehendaknya terhadap saya. Tetep aja Saya pacaran dan ngga menjaga diri Saya. Gimana caranya kita bisa mengetahui dan percaya kepada suami kita? Gimana caranya kita bisa melindungi anak-anak kita 24 jam sehari? Hal inilah yang membuat banyak istri/ibu hidup dalam kekhawatiran – kecemasan – insecure berkepanjangan dan ngga tahu gimana cara mengendalikan semua yang diluar kendalinya.
So my mom said…:”Cuma ada 1 modal di mana ibu (read: parents) bisa menjaga anak-anak dan suaminya: MODAL DENGKUL!!!” Artinya… get down on your knees and pray!
Lia MomShe still with me now.
She is 75 when I write this.
She is getting weak in terms of her memory and she doesn’t talk much because she loose so many words in her memory. Sometimes I feel sad, looking at her, remember her as a preacher and so passionate to God’s words.

I write all of this as a testimony on how fruitful her life is. And forever I will thank her for what she taught me. Yes I didn’t believe her until today…

I have to admit, every single word she taught me… All is right!

Yeaa Mom… Let’s Party! Let’s celebrate how you live your life well and how God is sooo faithful to you.

Thank you for what you guys (you and Papa) taught me and how you both support me and keep loving me. You both saw my ups and downs, my flaws and how rebellious I was… I know I was not an easy daughter to raise, but forever I Thank God because I was born from your love.

I love you Mom. I love you Dad! God be with us all.

PS: I only share 10 – tapi sebenernya masih banyak yang my mom taught me. Will write again later about it 🙂

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10 Things My Mom Told Me … And I didn’t believe Her (1)

I was not an easy teenager.
Today, I am old enough to have a teenager on my own, and I have a promise in my heart when I was a teenager, that I will not to agree on what my mom said, but now… life teach me so many things, and I find out, I know why I didn’t believe her back then…

Here are what my Mom taught me:

1. Jangan pacaran dulu waktu – cari temen sebanyak-banyaknya
Buat Saya, SMA adalah masa pacaran. Mau ngapain lagi di SMA kalau ngga pacaran? Cuma belajar? Waktu itu saya berpikir, saya punya mama yang super kolot. She never understand teenager nowadays. Tetapi hari ini saya melihat kebelakang, menyadari kenyataan bahwa saya kehilangan masa SMA saya. Karena pacaran – dan terlalu ekslusif, saya kehilangan bonding dengan teman-teman SMA saya. Memang pacaran di usia sangat muda bukan hal yang benar.

image12. Bergantung kepada Tuhan – semua yang kamu pegang jadi. (Mazmur 1:3)
Ini adalah omongan yang sering diulang-ulang oleh My Mom. Dia pernah berkata, mama ngga sekolah tinggi, tetapi pokoknya berjuang hidup benar, takut akan Tuhan, kerja keras dan terus berusaha, semua yang kamu pegang pasti berhasil.
Hhhhhmmmm… jujurnya, agak sulit untuk mengangguk-angguk dan dengan lapang hati bilang iya… benerrrr… tetapi hari ini saya melihat kehidupan mama saya, ia tidak kekurangan apapun. Ia hanya lulusan SMA, dan dari cerita yang saya dengar, ia paling tidak dianggap karena seluruh saudara-saudara nya pintar dan punya karier, sedangkan my mom waktu itu memutuskan ‘hanya’ menjadi seorang pelayan Tuhan.
Tetapi hari ini, saya melihat penyertaan dan kesetiaan Tuhan dalam hidupnya. Untuk kenyataan ini… saya akhirnya berkata: Yes Mom you are right about God’s providence untuk anak-anak yang mengasihiNya.

3. Kamu pasti akan benci Mama sekarang, nanti satu hari kamu akan bersyukur mama pernah paksa kamu melakukan ini – itu.
Ini sering banget diucapkan kalau saya lagi ngambek ngga mau les piano. Saya ingat satu siang saya dibangunkan dari tidur siang saya, dan disuruh les. Rasanya pengen ngamuk se ngamuk-ngamuknya. Tetapi my mom selalu bilang: Kalau kamu bisa musik kamu ngga pernah patah hati! Hahahahah… waktu itu saya ngga ngerti maksudnya. Tetapi melihat hidup saya ke belakang, yes… music become my hiding place when I feel sad. Especially now with praise and worship experience, I really feel close with God. Again… yes.. I am grateful I can play piano and have a good harmonization because of what I learn.

4. Dicoba dulu – baru memutuskan suka atau tidak!
Kata-kata ini kayak bisa audible sampai saat ini. Suara my mom yang kesel tiap kali saya pasti meringis kalau disuruh mencoba makanan baru. Tapi rasanya omongan ini bukan cuma bukan makanan. Dalam hidup kita, banyak hal yang harus kita berani coba dulu, baru memutuskan kita suka atau tidak. Karena kalau kita ngga coba, darimana kita tahu bagaimana perasaan/pendapat kita tentang sesuatu? Mencoba membuat kita kaya akan hal baru yang belum pernah kita coba. And if it turns out we don’t like it, or we fail… it’s ok! Kita 1 tahap lebih kaya dari sebelumnya, karena pengalaman/pengetahuan kita bertambah. So Mom… again… yeaaaa… you right!

5. Kamu musti lihat dunia, dunia begitu luas, kamu akan belajar banyak!
Pasti ngga percaya. Mainan masa kecil saya itu: RISK. Mainan Risk adalah mainan strategy board game of diplomacy, conflict and conquest. Bayangin anak 5 tahun sudah dikasih mainan itu… hahaha… but I believe she just didn’t understand about the game. She just wanted me to get familiar with the world. No wonder today I have weird interest to map.
Hari ini saya selalu punya mimpi untuk melihat dunia, bertualang, berbagi diri dan karya dengan sesama di luar sana. Belajar banyak hal dari dunia dan saya percaya itu juga tangan Tuhan yang mau mengajarkan saya.
Saya selalu berkata pada adik-adik single… widen your horizon, see the world! and thanks Mom for make me a woman who has a dream through your sharing about the world. My mom ngga punya kesempatan untuk banyak melihat dunia di mana mudanya. Tetapi saya percaya itu jadi mimpi nya yang ia turunkan kepada anak perempuannya. Hari ini di masa tuanya – ia banyak melakukan perjalanan ke berbagai tempat di dunia bersama Papa saya. Again I learn… never stop dreaming and when you put your trust in God, HE will make all your dreams come true.

to be continued…

 

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Armageddon: A Battle Between My Past and My Present (how to move on from the past)

Dari semalam saya mellow banget gara-gara liatin foto-foto Europe. Terus sekarang Hujan nambahin  mellow below.
Jadi mulai korek-korek lagu masa lalu yang kalau kita denger terasa adem dan pengen narik nafas panjang.

Apapun artinya itu.

Dari tadi muter lagu nya Aerosmith – I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing gara-gara waktu itu Saya nonton film Armagedon sama mantan Saya (lagu itu jadi soundtracknya) dan kemudian lagu itu jadi lagu yang Saya suka karena ngga lama setelah itu dia pergi sekolah ke luar negeri dan belum tahu rencana ke depan kami gimana.

Armageddon

Waktu itu kami ngga nonton berduaan. Kami nonton bersama dengan 2 teman Saya. Satunya teman cewek Saya, dan yang satu lagi teman cowok saya. Mereka pacaran juga, jadi ceritanya kami double date waktu itu dan ngga nyangka bertahun-tahun kemudian – teman  yang cowok  kemudian menjadi suami Saya hihihihihi… Uppssss… beneran ngga nyangka ya what life can bring to you…

Anyway… kita perempuan adalah makhluk relational dan emotional. Bersama dengan relasi itu, emosi yang menyertai relasi itu selalu ada dan tinggal dalam hati kita. Kadang itu terasa indah, tetapi kadang ada yang terlalu menyakitkan. Kadang kita dapat merasakannya, kadang rasa itu terlalu menyakitkan untuk dikenang sehingga kita memilih untuk ‘melupakannya’. Sampai satu titik di mana kita ngga bisa move on dan sampai pada kesimpulan: hidupku atau kebahagiaanku sudah berakhir waktu itu semua berakhir di masa lalu kita.

I was one of those women who think that way.

Contohnya: paling nyata adalah hari ini. Waktu saya mendengarkan lagu I don’t want to miss a thing tadi, ada rasa nyaman dalam hati Saya. Rasanya this is so right. The ambiance, the melody and lyric… This is soooo me!

Tapi apakah Saya merasa kangen dengan mantan Saya waktu itu…? No… hahahaha… My God! Dia sudah beristri dan beranak pinak, dan Saya sudah bersuami. Tetapi seakan-akan rasa itu ada and sometime it feels so real until I feel the pain in my heart. But then I know, that is just my emotional illusion – kayak sakaw gitu…

Saya ngga lagi punya perasaan terhadap mantan Saya. Yang Saya kangen adalah my emotion at that time, bertahun-tahun lalu di tahun 1997, waktu Saya madly in love with him, dan kami baru saja jadian, dan waktu kita harus menghadapi kenyataan bahwa kami akan menjalani LDR.

Soooo… it was that feeling – rasa nyaman – yang meninggalkan informasi dalam otak saya, dan rasa itu seperti Dopamine yang memancing reward system dalam otak Saya. Informasi itulah yang tertinggal Saat ini dan merupakan salah satu ‘release’ yang membuat rasanya terasa ‘nyaman’ dan ‘benar’.

Kalau hari ini Saya ditanya apakah Saya ingin kembali ke masa-masa itu…? Hhhhmmm jawaban Saya dengan pasti TIDAK. That was one day in my life and I cherish that moment as I cherish his presence in my life. Hari ini ada karena hari kemarin, semua yang terjadi yang boleh memberikan informasi dalam ingatan kita, itulah yang harus kita utilize untuk hari ini yang lebih baik, karena hari esok ada karena adanya hari ini.

Dari berbagai Seminar soal relationship yang Saya dan Suami Saya lakukan bersama, banyak pertanyaan bagaimana caranya move on from the past. Buat Saya move on artinya dengan kehendak bebas Saya, dan bergantung pada kekuatan rahmat Tuhan melangkahkan kaki Saya. Setapak demi setapak. Berdamai dengan apa yang ada kemarin, melihat semua peristiwa lalu sebagai gambaran pelatihan hati dan peyadaran diri bahwa kita adalah manusia rapuh yang berbuat kesalahan, saling menyakiti, dan terkadang tidak mampu menghargai moment-moment dalam hidup kita. Tetapi seperti Allah memerintahkan Lot dan keluarganya untuk tidak melihat kebelakang dalam konteks dosa – Allah yang sama juga mau kita semua melihat ke depan karena ada janji rancangan damai sejahtera dan sukacita bagi orang-orang yang mengasihi Allah dan menggantungkan harapannya hanya kepada Tuhan.

Capture1.JPGDon’t want to close my eyes
I don’t want to fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing

‘Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I’d still miss you baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing

Yes… I don’t want to miss a thing.
I don’t want to miss a single little thing of my life. Live your life today to the fullest because your life is a poetry. Written by God who wants to write beautiful stories of your life.

Common Princess – don’t be bullied by the devil and continue to wallow in the mud of the past that makes you unable to see the beauty of tomorrow.It is a battle, and with God will win it and we can see how the wound from the past can be a story of how faithful our God is… Don’t loose hope and enjoy the beauty of God’s promises in our life.

LbA.

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5 Things I Learn from Conjuring 2

As a little girl I love Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, that kinda girl stuff at my time. But not many people know (even my parents) that I love horror movies too.
It’s rare for a young age children esp for a girl.
Horror movie that I like the most is: The Exorcism: Emily Rose.
I even write my review of it on this blog too: https://whittulipe.wordpress.com/2007/02/26/choose-to-be-chosen/…
The other is: Amityville http://www.warrens.net/Amityville.html. It’s about a story from November 13, 1974, In Amityville, New York when Ronald Defeo burst into Harry’s Bar screaming his parents had been shot. Police discovered the bodies of 6 members of the DeFeo family: Father, mother, and 4 of the 5 Defeo children were found, Face Down, executed in their beds. Ronald claimed he wasn’t home during the murders and only discovered the bodies of his parents prior to arriving at Harry’s Bar. But after Police found a gun box for a 35-Marlin Rifle in Ronald’s Room, he subsequincially confessed. After a lengthy trial Ronald DeFeo Was found guilty of the heinous murders. And was sentenced to 6 consecutive life sentences.
I’m not a movie critiques but I’m quite critical when it comes to horror movies esp. in terms of storyline and how they make it. I hate being shocked by a sudden appearance or loud sound. For me it’s cheap and not creative at all! (hhhmmm… how can you make a creativity in horror movie?). That’s why I tend to watch horror movie that only based on a true story.
Last nite I found the 3rd one that I like so far. CONJURING 2. I watched the 1st sequel. It’s from the true story based on the story of Ed and Lorraine Warren – a couple husband and wife who dedicated their life to help people who experience demonic attack in their life. In previous Conjuring Lorraine said that what they’re doing was a calling and God brought them together for a reason.
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I learn at least these 5 things from the movie Conjuring 2:
1. Ed said to Lorraine when they were soooo frighten with case they have to handle: “We don’t leave the fight!” God gave us a calling in every one of us.
Our task is to look what our mission is in this world and do the fight for our mission. Of course the devil don’t want us to find that “treasure” (read: our calling/ life mission) because when we find it, the devil know that something good, even something great will happen for the glory of God.
Soooo… devil will do anything to make us run from the fight. I was reminded once again… I know my life mission… to proclaim hope (one of it) through writing. Therefore I don’t leave the fight! (something happened when I drafted this writing) – I write this reflection down!
2. Ed said to Lorraine when he was trap on the basement and he has to save Janet – (Lorraine beg him to wait for her so they can go together to save Janet… but Ed was run out of time…) Ed said: “I love you Lorraine, but I have to go…!”
I am a wife from a man with missions. I learn once again, that when I married a man with God’s mission in his heart, I have to learn (once again) to let him go to fight the battle for a greater cause and believe with all my heart that God is with him. I am loved but it’s not all about me. I have to take care of myself and depending fully and only to God.
I was reminded once again to be a woman of faith!
3. One afternoon when Lorraine was reading the bible and accompany her daughter playing, she got the vision of the demon. The attack was so real and when Lorraine asked for the demon’s name… the demon’s said something like a clue of it’s name. What I learn is: Identify the name of your fear. Identify each and every single detail of your enemy. Identify the name of the demon!
I was reminded once again of the important from a name. A name is a hidden mission of you.
4. In one of the scene, Ed had a time with Jane (the girl who possessed) and Ed told her a story about his childhood. Young Ed was very afraid of the dark and he thinks that someone hiding under his bed. One day, he feels that his hands were pulled by something under his bed and he ran out from his room toward his dad’s room. Instead of make Ed calm, his dad told Ed to go back to his room and said to Ed: “You have to face the fear” and then Ed’s dad gave him the cross neck less that Ed’s wore until that day. Once again I learn:
To eliminate the fear, you have to face it! Look it in the eye of the enemy and say to that enemy: “God is with me, whom shall I fear?”
5. At the end of the story… Janet finally set free from the stranglehold of the demons. Janet said to The Warrens, that because of they trust on her, they came back and ‘saved’ her, now she has 2 people whom she know love her. The final scene the I clenched my fist and felt soooo satisfy was when Lorraine shout: “In the name of The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit, ……….. (she shout the devil’s name) you go back to hell!” … and the demon’s ran out and cast away. Before that happen The Warren already decided to go back to their home because they don’t have enough evidence of the presence of the demon – but because of the wisdom God’s gave them and the love they have in their heart to this family who attacked by the demon, they came back right in time when the big attack happened there. Yes love can win anything… even the power that we think we can not face. Love always wins! That the password that never fail!
I’m not writing this to promote this movie. Noooo… not at all.
But I only want us to remember once again, don’t be consumed by the lies of the devil. The devil is the king of lies. Don’t let it bully you and make your focus shifting from the love and the mighty power of God.
Always remember: The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1).
Stay focus on the love of God
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
AMEN!
A writing of consolation after watching horror movies.

 

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Travel is not just a destination checked

Travel is not just a destination checked.

#whittulipewomanhoodjourney #travel #travelquotes #ilovetravel #throwback

View on Path

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Dance with My Father: a memoir – Dance With Me My Girl

A Dance with My Father

Cerita 5 hari ini membawa saya pada saat ini.
Semua yang ada hari ini dibangun atas reruntuhan diri.
Kemarahan.
Kebencian.
Kesombongan.
Ketidak-mampuan untuk berdamai.
Penolakan akan rahmat dan Kasih Tuhan.
Yes I was a wretch.

Setelah kejadian di hutan bakau itu, begitu banyak yang saya lalui. Begitu banyak hutan-hutan lain yang saya jalani. Memang manusia ngga kapok-kapok dan ngge belajar-belajar ya 🙂

Proses perubahan dari seorang perempuan yang mengasihani dirinya sendiri, beralih menjadi seorang perempuan yang ingin mengalahkan semua pihak. I was transformed from desolating woman to a dominating woman.
Proses pertahanan diri yang saya lakukan dengan kekuatan saya sendiri malah membawa saya pada kejatuhan demi kejatuhan yang dalam.
I will write it down in a book one day.
What I learned from many falls.
How I found that amazing grace.
For now, let me share only one thing.
One thing that save a wretch like me.

Penyadaran saya bahwa selama ini saya lebih memilih untuk menelan kebohongan-kebohongan yang ditaburkan pihak musuh. Kebohongan yang membuat saya hampir kehilangan hidup saya.
Keputusan untuk membenci dan menjauh dari rahmat Allah yang membuat saya justru makin melemah – tetapi saya tidak pernah menyadarinya. Saya berpikir kemampuan saya untuk mempertahankan diri adalah yang terbaik.
Kehancuran dan ketidak berdayaan  inilahlah yang membuat saya ingin membagikannya untuk sahabat perempuan di luar sana.

Rahmat dan belas kasih Allah lah yang menarik saya demikian kuat.
Allah yang dengan sabar menunggu.
Allah yang dengan kebesaran hatiNya menerima caci maki dan hujatan saya.
Allah yang terus memberikan tanda-tanda melalui sekeliling saya, bahwa saya dikasihi.
Allah yang dengan kasihNya tetap diam di sana, menunggu, tidak memaksa, sampai saya dengan kehendak bebas saya memutuskan untukkembali ke pelukanNya.
Allah yang selalu menjadi Bapa yang mengulurkan tanganNya dan berkata…:
“Come dance with Me – you will be just fine with Me. Trust Me to take the lead and I will make you dance so beautifully – like you never did my dear Princess.”dancewith God.jpg

Yes He is our Father who has an extraordinary mercy.
He is a Father who only know how to love. If you feel you never loved before, try Him. Call the name of Jesus. What ever your condition keep calling Him, ask Him to show Himself to you.
Kalau saya saja, yang telah begitu banyak berbuat dosa, bahkan meng
hujat Allah diampuni dan diberi kesempatan kedua, ketiga, keempat, ke….
Saya percaya Allah yang sama akan memelukmu erat-erat.
Enjoy your dance with our Father Princess!

Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner’s heart
You lead us by still waters in to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart
May God Almighty who has taught me so many things through my vulnerability and mistakes grand us with His grace and mercy, to make us a better woman every day.

Sayup-sayup seperti terdengar lagu Tales from the Vienna Woods – my favorite waltz song.
What ever happen in life I wanna keep dancing with You Father.
I know I will be good in Your arms.

Lent 2016 on The Extraordinary Year of Mercy
AMDG

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